As I grow up, I learn that the responsibilities that lie on me grow as well.
The responsibility of being a daughter, to take care of my parents, to make them happy when they are still around. But I do not know how to answer it when my mom ask me with an upset tone "Since you will be coming on Dec, you won't be coming back for next year chinese new year then". It will only happen next December and next next Chinese New Year...
The responsibility of being a sister, to take care of my little sister and brother, to keep remembering to say hello on and off by making sure that they are still well., which I might forget or to be exact neglect sometime...
The responsibility of being a wife, to take care of the man, to know and care of how he is doing everyday, which I am not doing so well. He is the one who take care of me, who take care of the household...
The responsibility of being a worker, to serve the company with all your attention, with all your time. Because client and money are always the priority and therefore meeting timeline is a must. Without the pay, what are you suppose to live on? Therefore, I spend most of time to be a worker, even meaning sacrifying your weekend. But in fact, I can be replaced within 5 minutes; my absence won't give any impact to the company, things will just move on as usual, nobody notice nothing...
Why the hell meeting timeline is always priority!!
Why the hell spending my time, risking my health, neglecting those around when I can be replaced in just 5 minutes!!
Why the hell is it so hard just to let go!!
Why the hell trapping myself at hell though in my heart I am dying to runaway!!
I just wish that life can be as simple as once I used to think...
3 comments:
you work hard so that you can make sure your family under your care can also do well.
"letting go" is a very difficult subject that is not taught in university. haha....
be strong.
There's a saying that we can't always please everyone, but in reality, it can't be applied.
There's also a saying that says, don't worry be happy, but realistically, our heart and mind keep playing tricks on us.
Or maybe because we are from the same species term "female" therefore we always indulge in thoughtful thoughts, either necessarily or unnecessarily.
Be tough gal. I know you'll find your answer soon as I am also still trying to find mine. :)
Hi dear...
Long time no see/hear from you...
So many why(s).. but nobody has the answer..
The fact is.. you are the answer!
(I'm also trying to figure out the answer, Let's Gambateh together)
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